Two for One is Like One for Free

Two for One is One for Free or Almost One for Free?

New Hobby -- Label Spotting!

Here's a new spin on sign spotting ... label spotting.

I spotted this label on a make-up bag for sale in a mall in Nuevo Vallarta, Mexico.

I think that it's sensational indeed!

Puerto Vallarta Sign Spotting

It's always fun when you come across a sign or menu in a foreign country that has a problem with its English grammar.

While this slip up (spotted in the Puerto Vallarta airport) isn't all that bad, it gave me a smile and I couldn't help but take a picture.

Perhaps I'll send it along to the Sign Spotting web site.

Worst Airport Souvenir Ever

That pesky rule requiring I arrive at the airport two hours prior to my international flight when I flew from Puerto Vallarta back to Minneapolis the other week assured that I had plenty of time to browse every single gift shop in the place.

In my browsing, I came across this -- a little ceramic toilet with the words Puerto Vallarta, Mexico painted on it. And a marlin. And a sunshine. What's up with that?

Who would want such a thing? A spring breaker? Maybe?

It seems more of a gag gift than anything else, but it did give me a chuckle.

Japanese Kit Kats

A friend of mine recently returned from a trip to Asia. In a layover in a Japanese airport, she picked up a bag of fruity Kit Kats.

The bag included peach, berry and green tea Kit Kats.

Hmmmm. Not too sure these will catch on here in the U.S.

My Best Feature? Sexy Brain

I snapped this shot at the Humane Society Walk for the Animals over the weekend.

Where can I get one of these shirts?

Bring the 2016 Olympics to Ely, Minnesota!

Ely, Minnesota has applied to host the summer Olympics in 2016.

The town's Olympic committee announced its plans two days ago, on April 1, 2009.

When asked how Ely compares with Madrid, another city that is also in the running for the 2016 summer Olympics, an Ely committee spokesperson said:

"Do you know how much it costs to fly to Madrid? A lot more than it costs to drive to Ely."

Take a gander at their press conference below:



April Fool's Day joke or no -- it's quite a brilliant marketing scheme for the city.

Besides, they're actually gaining support, so who knows?

You can join the Ely 2016 Facebook page.

Or you can visit the Ely 2016 web site.

Dicky Coupling and Monkey Butt

Speaking of pictures from the auction of my grandfather's junk yard business ...

I found this one sent to me by my uncle, Michael Westhoff, who is a freelance photographer.

I remember when we found this can, buried beneath a heap o' junk. We giggled and giggled and giggled some more.

What in the world was Dickey Lubricant Compound for Dickey Coupling?

This picture reminded me straight away of another one shot by yet another freelance photographer, Mark Trockman, a man that I work with to cover assignments for a local newspaper.

The other week, while touring a newly-opened tool store in my neck of the woods, Mark snapped this picture of a product called Anti Monkey Butt with me in the background laughing.

You've got appreciate the wonders of modern marketing. Still though, I'm not really sure I know what Dicky Lubricant or Anti Monkey Butt do ...



Photos (c) Michael Westhoff and Mark Trockman

Please Pack my Box With ...

My grandfather owned a junk yard. He didn't like to call it that. To him, it was a "salvage operation."

To everyone else though, the words "junk yard" sufficed.

He passed away a year and a half go. As a result, his business was auctioned off. Most of it went to scrappers who came in and bought up the metal.

I was there, not buying, but taking pictures. Those pictures have been languishing on a memory card since then. I hadn't addressed them. The auction had been too sad.

But I dug them out the other day. Among them was this shot, a close up of a piece of paper that had been threaded through an old-fashioned typewriter. The typewriter was outside in a pile of scrap metal. The piece of paper had been there for who knows how long.

It reads:

Please pack my box with seven dozen lacquer jugs.

What? What kind of a sentence was that?

I promptly emailed it to my uncle, a man with a deep love for all things odd, who wrote back with an answer.

The sentence, according to him, should have read:

Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.

It's similar, he said, to:

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

I was lost and confused. I had no idea what either one of these sentences meant. But now I know. Each one contains every letter of the alphabet.

Apparently, back in the day, typing teachers used to make their students practice their keyboarding skills by typing these sentences over and over.

Hmmm. I don't remember that. Have I just dated myself?

Happy Holidays 2008!

It's been a busy holiday season for me this year. Going here, going there. Hosting this, hosting that.

All the hustling about has been paid off by numerous laughs and fun.

Although I'm not too sure my dog Aries would agree.

While we got quite a few laughs from his Christmas getup, he wasn't pleased to be playing the role of Santa.

Happy Che-lloween

This year, for Halloween, I decided to go as Che.

Isn't this hilarious?

And the best part is, you can dress up like Che, too. Just follow the link at the bottom of the image!

Che Guevarize ! powered by Fluctuat.net

Next Season's Dancing with the Stars

This photograph arrived in my inbox courtesy of a friend. It was a piece of forwarded junk email I actually enjoyed.

Whoever altered this picture did a damn fine job. Kudos to him or her!

Can You Trust a Maverick?

One of my college roommates sent me this picture of her truck.

Right or left or somewhere in between, you've got to appreciate the creativity.

Blah-Blah

You know you get too much junk mail when you start getting credit card solicitations that look like this...

I wonder how much the authoring copywriter got paid for this campaign.

Seeking Revenge

I don't spend my days hanging out in liquor stores.

Even though this now marks my second blog posting in one month's time about a funny find in a liquor store, I really don't spend a lot of time frequenting these fine establishments. Really. I don't.

Anyway...here goes.

While in San Diego for a wedding, I ended up in a liquor store. I was there with some others. Our mission was to pick up some bottles of wine for a family gathering. We were instructed to purchase red wine, preferably Merlot and definitely not Shiraz.

But I tend to stray from the rules. Once the Merlot was in hand, I began perusing the other bottles.

That's when I came across an Australian wine called "Kelly's Revenge." I had to have it!

Plus, it was a forbidden Shiraz, which meant I double had to have it!

Kelly's Revenge was purchased and taken to the family get-together. However, it quickly got pushed aside and pushed to the back in lieu of the favored and requested Merlot and somehow the evening passed and I never got to have my revenge.

And now I'm back home in Minnesota wondering what will become of that bottle. It will sit, no doubt, in the host's cabinet, as nobody in that home had wanted a Shiraz.

Maybe it will wait for me until my return trip to San Diego; although I don't know when that will be.

And so today, while running errands, I decided to pop into an area liquor store known for it's vast and global selection. Alas, they carry no Kelly's Revenge.

Never even heard of it, the clerk said.

I guess this means I'm still seeking revenge.

Minne Soda

Hey Kelly.

Yeah?

What's your favorite kind of soda?

Fanta. What's yours?

Minne Soda.

And so goes the joke.

Over and over again.

It's pretty clever, really. Especially when you learn that the play on words is attributed to a four year-old.

The joke would never fly with a four year-old in Minnesota, a place where "soda" is faithfully called "pop." But I had to hand it to this East Coast kid. His Minne Soda joke was smart.

The four year-old in question is the son of my dear friend Michelle, who I've been staying with for a few days in her suburban New York home. For weeks she had been telling her son that I was coming to visit all the way from Minnesota. Unacquainted with U.S. geography, he heard something entirely different.

Safety Happiness Cloth Shop

So I've been doing some spring cleaning. This has entailed cleaning out the closet--mine and hubby's.

I ran across this suit coat bag from a tailor shop in Hoi An, Vietnam.

Funny. I don't ever remember paying any attention to the name of the shop. But how could I have missed this?

So Says Hemingway

A while back, a friend of mine traveled to the Florida Keys. She visited Hemingway's home and sent me this postcard.

It has graced the cork board above my desk for the past few months. Every once in a while, I take it down and look at it.

It makes me laugh. The Hemingway quote on the front is quite strange:

Writing and travel broaden your ass, if not your mind.

However, it is the description on the back of the card that I find equally - if not more - bizarre. It reads:

Ernest Hemingway's weight varied through the years, but his love for cats never wavered.

Even though I wonder about the tourism board employee who came up with this quip, I'm also able to admit that Papa Hemingway made a good point with this quote.

It's been a long, cold winter followed by a drab and chilly spring in Minnesota, and I've filled these days with writing, travel and travel writing.

Now that the sun is starting to peek out here at home, I've started breaking away from my computer and taking my dogs (for whom my love has never wavered) for long walks.

And while I'm not yet willing to publicly proclaim on my blog that all this travel writing has broadened my backside, I am willing to admit that my body is feeling the aftereffects of my newly extended neighborhood roamings.

It's Greek To Me

I've been blessed with lots of "niece time" this spring. I've gotten to spend lots of time with all the little girls in my life.

On one of these visits, which included a trip to a playground, I found this plastic coin half buried in the sand under the swings.

I just had to keep it and post in on my blog. It's stamped to look like an ancient Greek coin, but then it also has the word "China" stamped on it as well; presumably it was made there. And yet I found it here in the U.S.A.

Free Rice for Everyone!

Somehow, between all the Internet surfing I do and all the people I interview, I ended up at this totally awesome web site: Free Rice.

Before you follow the link, be sure to read this warning: Free Rice is addictive.

Here's why. You go there and a series of vocabulary words begins cycling on the screen. You are asked to click on the correct definition. If you get the answer right, grains of rice are donated to a hunger program somewhere in the world.

The more vocabulary words you know, the more bowls of rice you fill. The more time you spend on the site quizzing your vocabulary smarts, the more hungry people you feed.

The site is run by the World Food Programme and is supported by advertisers.

Check it out. As I said, it's addictive, but at least you're doing good.

How many addictions can boast that?!

Hey Girls! Pee Standing Up!

Ladies, you know how it is. You have to go really, really bad and there's not a toilet in sight. Or there is, but it's nasty, raunchy and downright gross. What's girl to do?

Squat, right? But what if you haven't been keeping up with those visits to the gym?

You've never really wished you were a guy, but dang! Sometimes, don't you wish you could pee standing up?

Now you can!

Yesterday I had coffee with Jamie Holland, the spokeswoman for P-Mate, a little cardboard device that lets women pee standing up.

If you're a traveler willing to seek off-the-grid spots, chances are you've run across some pretty unusual bathroom situations, like this photo -- a Japanese bathroom submitted by a P-Mate user to the Pee Standing Up Blog.

Taking my own travel experiences into account, I can remember several times when a P-Mate would have made it easier to maneuver a hole-in-the-ground toilet.

But really, how easy is it to use?

Well, after my 16-ounce latte, I had enough liquid in me to find out. I arrived home from our interview bursting at the seams. "Wanna watch me pee standing up?" I called out to Quang as I sprinted past him to the bathroom with a P-Mate in hand.

"What?" he yelled. "No way!"

He didn't make it off the couch to come and watch, which was probably a good thing. As I'd never used a pee-standing-up device before, I was nervous about my aim. His watchful eyes might have caused me problems.

But I did it! I peed standing up! With the P-Mate, it was easy. And clean! Turns out, there is nothing wrong with my aim!

Too bad the snow in these parts is almost gone. With a P-Mate in hand, I'd be able to write my name in the snow. Oh well. I guess I'll just settle for the pack of P-Mates Jamie gave me and the knowledge that I can bring them with me the next time I venture off the grid.

Check out this P-Mate promotional video. It's sure to bring a smile!

The Blogging Rat

This is Ratson Rat. He keeps a blog.

He's a funny little rat. A bit obnoxious. A lot sarcastic.

He blogs so that school kids here in the Minneapolis metro area can go to the computer lab, hop online and spend 30 minutes learning how to interact in an Internet way.

In his most recent post, Ratson Rat wrote about his attempt to become a vegetarian. So far, only 2 kids have posted comments about his veggie transformation, but if this post is anything like all his other posts, Ratson Rat can expect upwards of 70 comments.

He doesn't just blog for fun. His creator, Lynn Jonell, wrote a middle-grade novel called Emmy and the Incredible Shrinking Rat. Ratson Rat is the star of the book. By taking his act online, author Jonell is introducing her enthusiastic young readers to a virtual arena.

Jonell is from the Minneapolis area and thus far only a handful of nearby schools are participating in the blog. But a school in Ohio recently signed on and Jonell is hoping the rat blog will catch on in other states, too.

Want to see what a rat blog looks like? Take a peek.

Want to read more about the project? Read my article.

Photo © Lynn Jonell

Smells Good in Cuba

After the Christmas crush, hubby and I hit an outlet mall with some holiday cash. We were in search of new fragrances to accessorize the new year.

Quang especially needed a new cologne. He had drained all his bottles dry, including an aerosol can of musk-scented Axe Body Spray.

This can has been kicking around our bathroom for more than a year and it's been empty most of that time. Each time Quang picks it up and tries to eek out a drop or two, he ends up breathing naughty words about how he thought he'd already thrown the can away. Then he promptly turns and dumps it in the trash.

And I go fish it out of the garbage and put it back under the bathroom sink.

It's not that I'm trying to play tricks on him, it's just that I have a soft spot in my heart for that cheap can of body spray.

He bought it in Uruguay, in the town of Punta del Este, and I remember that morning well. After two months budget backpacking in Latin America, he was obsessed with the idea that all his personal belongings stunk -- his shoes, his clothes, his bag. He was desperate to mask what he thought was an obvious odor, hence the body spray.

For the rest of our trip, which spanned six months, whenever he broke out that aerosol can I'd sniff deep and say, "Ummm. It smells like Uruguay."

On our recent trip to the outlet mall, however, I admitted the Axe body spray was good and gone and that it was time to move on.

Quang chose a couple new smells, one which I pushed him to buy: Cuba.

It was packaged in a brown bottle with a gold seal to look like a cigar. I particuarily liked the fact that the "Cuban cigar" was stamped with a picture of Benjamin Franklin.

"Let me guess, you think it should be a picture of Che," Quang said.

"Che would have been more appropriate than Benjamin Franklin," I said. "Actually, I think they should have put Jose Marti on the seal." Jose Marti is Cuba's most beloved poet.

The Cuba cologne was priced really cheap. So cheap, in fact, that we both figured it probably didn't smell very good. Nonetheless, I argued, Quang needed to own it.

When you buy a new perfume, you never really know if you're going to end up liking it or not. Those trial squirts in the store never do much besides stuff up your nose.

Now that a couple weeks have passed and we've had time to adjust to the individual ways that a cologne sinks under the skin, wouldn't you know it...we both prefer Cuba to the other bottles he brought home.

Seeing Double?

Am I crazy, or am I a LeeAnn Chin model?

Check out this gift card being sold at LeeAnn Chin. I was there the other day and when I got to the register, I saw four monster stacks of blank gift cards baring this image just waiting to be sold.

I thought, Oh my, God! That's me and my hub!



Having trouble seeing the resemblance? Check out these shots. Granted, we're not eating, but am I the only one who sees it?

Counting Coins

It's the last business day of the year, which means it's time to take our jar o' coins to the bank. I never used to collect spare change, but for the past four years I've been hauling in my husband's 12-month stash, dumping it in a counting machine and waiting to see what total pops out.

The past few years it's hovered at $80. I wonder what it'll equal this year.

Politically Incorrect Christmas Gifts

Here's our vote for the most politically incorrect Christmas gifts!

From my brother to my hubby and me - a Hillary Nutcracker and Biodegradable Dog Poop Bags sporting pictures of President Bush and Dick Cheney and the slogan: "They're Full of Crap."

Upon further inspection, we noticed that both the Hillary doll and the dog poop bags were made in China, to which Quang raised an interesting question:

In a Communist county, can't you be jailed or killed or something for being disrespectful to your leaders?

It shouldn't surprise us that these items were made in China (like everything else these days), but late on a Christmas night, we puzzled over the idea that these products, which are most certainly disrespectful to American leaders (no matter which side of the fence you're on) were made in a country where freedom of speech is limited.

Last Night's Fortune

Confused by El Conquistador

Somehow our name ended up on the mailing list for a magazine called Incentive. It's been coming for about 6 months now. It's one of those curious mail box mysteries...who put us on this list?

The purpose of the magazine is to encourage corporate big wigs to give incentive gifts for employee productivity. Mostly it's full of ads for gift cards, small electronics and resort get-a-ways. I usually flip quickly through the pages before dumping the lot in the recycling box. This month, however, a certain advertisement caught my eye. It was for a resort called El Conquistador.

The ad caught my eye for two reasons. First, it's totally hokey.

Who is this ad aiming at? I hardly think it's targeting a woman. If I were to plan an all-inclusive resort vacation, I'd steer clear El Conquistador simply on the basis of this ad.

I mean really. What woman rides a horse in a flimsy cotton cover up, with apparently no bra or swimsuit underneath, her long hair flowing in the breeze, a hibiscus stuck in her tangled locks, and her arm stretched out behind her, resting on the horse's rump, so that her back arches ever so slightly into a come-hither pose exposing the fleshiness of her breast?

I'd also like the highlight the fact that the woman is riding bareback.

The whole thing looks more like the cover of a video game that should be rated M for mature than an ad for an upscale, luxury resort.

The ad also caught my eye because my husband, on more than one occasion, has called himself my conquistador. Given the rant above, I'll leave you to determine how smoothly that goes over.



Of course I had to look up El Conquistador online. It's a posh Puerto Rican place. The cheapest room I could find started at over $400 a night.

Which brought me right back to the ad. I'd think, pulling in that kind of dough, that they'd have a better marketing scheme. I'm still scratching my head.

* Photos © El Conquistador.

Celebrate World Toilet Day!

It's not too late to celebrate World Toilet Day!

November 19 is the toilet's day to shine! Next time you flush, pay a little gratitude to that porcelain contraption that makes your life easier and - yes - cleaner.

World Toilet Day was organized by the World Toilet Organization. The World Toilet Organization, or WTO, was started by a man named Sim Jae-duck. This is a picture of his new house, which is in the shape of a toilet and located in South Korea.

Sim Jae-duck founded the WTO in 2001 because he wanted to call attention to the fact that 2.6 billion people around the world lack access to basic sanitation services.

Since then, the WTO has worked to raise awareness, funds and projects surrounding sanitation issues.

For example, according to the WTO Web site, improperly or poorly built sewerage systems discharge waste into rivers, lakes and the sea with little or no treatment.

This is admittedly gross, which is why, I guess, the World Toilet Organization needs to exist. A trip through its Web site, however, produced all sorts of good, clean fun.

For example, I found a quiz that told tell me what kind of toilet paper I most closely resemble. (Quilted, in case you're wondering).

I also found a list that teaches me to ask:"Where's the bathroom? in many different languages. In case I ever make it to Estonia, I'll need to know how to say: Kus on tualett?

If you're interested in some of the best and worst bathrooms around the world, you can always pay a visit to The Bathroom Diaries, a Web site that posts pictures and rankings of commodes across the globe.

And last but not least, should you be so moved (pun intended) by the plight of the toilet-less throughout the world, you can even donate money to the construction of proper sanitation structures in developing countries.

* Photos © Reuters.