Neither Here nor There

I have been living in Japan for about 9 months now, yet it still doesn't truly feel like home. Whenever I think of home I think of grassy, green meadows, lot's of cows, and white lace curtains fluttering in the breeze from my bedroom window. For the first 6 months or so of my stay in Japan I felt like I was on some sort of semi-permanent vacation. My apartment felt like a temporary spot to crash for an adventure that would soon end. After 6 months a strange feeling started to take hold. I no longer felt like I was on vacation, Japan was where I was living, it wasn't my home, but it wasn't a vacation. A few days ago I visited Awaji Island with some friends. Awaji Island is a small island off mainland Honshu. We hiked, collected sea glass on the beach, and visited an abandoned lighthouse in the middle of nowhere. As were were walking back to catch our ferry it started to drizzle. As we walked along narrow back streets in the dark of night, rain pelting our backpacks, we could see shop signs written in Kanji, and a mother and daughter whizzing past us on their bicycles, holding umbrellas to keep from getting wet. It occurred to me that in the first few months of my time in Japan I would have found this scene very alienating and different from back home, I would have felt like a tourist stumbling through a different world. When this surreal experience actually occurred it felt normal and natural, what I was used to seeing on a daily basis. I didn't feel like a visitor, but I still didn't feel like I was at home. I guess this strange feeling is one I will have to get used to as my days in Japan wind to a close.